Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Not knowing... with Richard Freeman

After years of contemplating and experimenting with rooting my sitting bones into the floor, I finally reached a new stage of this process yesterday. I understood something about the action a little more lucidly. I really felt it and something inside my body went "ah hah!" My spine went up without strain and my pelvis went down effortlessly. Just like a tree, growing down to grow up. I felt spacious and light and, like, huge!
It only took me about a month of Richard reiterating this for me to actually feel it... not only that, but I'm sure I will reach more understanding of it in the years to come and maybe I will never know it.
There is a subtle magnificent unfolding of infinite possibilities and unimaginable beauty as I see the whole world in the intricate movement of my skeleton in seated, the juice from a watermelon... the sight of Sonnie's hand gripping rock.
I think part of the journey of a yoga practice is to understand that there may be no finite answers to the questions that we have and if there are some answers, at any given time they may change.
Makes me laugh at myself for getting mildly annoyed with Sonnie's ever changing plans... of course if I counted on them always changing I would never be bothered! He's just helping me keep it real. haha.

After a month with Richard I am quite content in not knowing. In not even asking questions, but allowing things to unfold for me by just contemplating and experiencing the world patiently, and maybe the median point of my sitting bones will one day actually touch the floor in the continual process of me becoming myself.
It is sad to leave Boulder and a little scary to face the changes of moving to a new town (Squamish, British Columbia). The unknown ... living in a van for part of the summer... making up new work...
I just got a new pair of climbing shoes and looking at the clean black edge on the sole of the shoe makes me smile with excitement.
I guess not knowing is being completely aware and anticipating the wonder of the world. Richard Freeman's last words of the teacher training (or more like student training!) were, "as soon as you think you know... you don't know at all."

I am completely overwhelmed with gratitude for spending time with Richard over this last month. He has an amazing ability to shift thinking and feeling to grander proportions. He will be missed.

I have a few more precious classes to take here and a quick trip out rock climbing and then Sonnie and I are heading back to Canmore to organize the move.
Hope to see all the classy people in Canmore.

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