Wednesday, June 8, 2011

A Photo Essay

Amidst so many moments of sadness
there are jewels of joy
intense deep love, immediacy
eye contact -
and then stillness.

Red cardinals
painted with morning sunshine,
living in a lakeside fairytale.
Here we are for a while,
beside our families
dancing in and out of sadness
flowing in and out of bliss.
Maybe not all stories have happy endings?
Perhaps all stories have happy endings?

grey days
driving south through rain and smog
sitting between two boys,
a warm wind and a sleeping beauty.
Staring in the mirror,
connecting with the soft blue eyes of a papa.
In my heart we are a family,
lost in this wide open flat space.
Missing the cedars,
loving each other.

A few moments to myself,
staring at an inverted horizon across the lake.
Upside down on the dock,
new perspectives,
but the truth is still the same.

Living beside this lake for a while,
our simple life fits this place.
Endless open space for the warm wind to blow,
and calm waters shelter us from stormy minds:
as we paddle our canoe.

Hand creases.
Foot prints.
Molded forever in black paint
stored with birch bark
signed with the initials of a baby.

The trilliums are gone,
another cycle goes round
another year of life and death on the forest floor.
The innocent beauty of death
stares at me through the eyes of the forest,
year after year.
Yet, nothing prepares us for the death of a child.

Old friends gather,
memories of half a lifetime.
I am amazed, yet again,
by the ability for one short life to inspire love,
to bring out the best in people.
Near and far.

Without a word,
without knowing,
barely two months from the womb,
this son of mine is teaching us how to live.

Sitting again, wrapped in a koala bear
breathing heavily on my chest.
Bodies touch.
I kiss his sweet forehead
and watch again as little Finn finds his way to sleep.

with lv.
Sarah (Scotty, Finn and Chinook too)


Julie said...

Thank you for the connection, Sarah. Your words are beautiful and so deeply sincere it helps me feel you all so close. We love you. We are with you.
julie stu cedar and cass

martin said...

Love you guys!
Your words of wisdom and captures of pure beauty burn its way deep in the human heart. Much appreciation of knowing you guys.

Nicole said...

Know you guys are all being held at this time. You're an inspiration to us all.

Tracey said...

Sarah, I want you to know that I am sending you and Scotty much love, light and peace. Thank you for sharing your powerful, heart filled words.
Hugs, Tracey

Emily said...

Your words are beautiful Sarah. I think of you and yoursweet innocent baby often. He must feel cocooned and protected by your strength, love and warmth. .. It is not easy to know what to say. My heart goes out to Finn and you and your family - I wish I could take up some of your pain for you and for him too. It really is wonderful to see his pictures and the peaceful expression on his face. I wish you as many of those moments of joy as can be and send you love. Emily O.

j said...

Dear Sarah, Finn and Scotty,
I feel blessed to have been able to learn from you Sarah...and talk about living and birth. I welcome Finn to this world. In this moment, i am sending much love and light to you and your family on the journey ahead.
may it be full of kindness.

Cecelia said...

You three are amazing.

Your words, your grace, your love & your beautiful family fill me with intense happiness & hope. Perhaps this sounds crazy, but I am truly overwhelmed by a feeling of such pure love when I think of the special moments you three are sharing. I send my warmest support for the wave of other emotions that may also swell. Finn looks like such a beautiful baby swaddled in your unconditional love.

Big hugs - Cecelia

Unknown said...

brought me to tears. thank you so much for sharing...

moonshadow said...

I have been in Scotland for 2 months and have missed this momentous birth. Still your photos and words found me here back in Canmore. Congratulations on your blossoming creativity and welcome to your beautiful boy - the universe is truly expanding with each breath and each word.
You are a blessing.